


children, broadripple is burning

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Sad, Songfic, Substance Abuse, Suicide, really sad, technically this is a songfic??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:11:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4116631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based off of the song broadripple is burning by margot & the nuclear so and so's<br/>(don't read the tags if you don't want it spoiled for you)</p>
            </blockquote>





	children, broadripple is burning

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so s orr y

dear josh,

you don't know how many times i've tried to write this letter.

i figured this is better than a phonecall. i don't think you want to hear my voice again anyways.

i've found friends in the drunk girls in the bathroom, who shove their fingers down their throats to feel free again. they tell me about how shitty their boyfriends are as they sit at leather couches outside picking up chicks in scantily-clad who smell like sweat and vodka. i wish i could be like them. i wish i could forget you so easily.

the stomach acid burning my throat reminds me of our red-hot skin as our lips clash.

the glue makes me feel the same way i did when i first saw you. it makes my fingertips tingle, my chest feel heavy. my stomach is filled with butterflies and my head is so, so dizzy.

i don't know what to do anymore.

i am so used to having your body next to me when i wake up, your lips against my neck when the demons come back, your laugh when i'm clumsy enough to trip over my own shoelaces in public.

that first night alone, i tried to pretend i didn't need it. i tried not to notice how quiet my room was without your soft snoring, how empty it was without your furniture.

i tried to forget curling up in sleeping bags with you as we stared up at the night sky. i tried to forget your desperate hands. i tried to forget every reason i had fallen in love with you. from your hair down to your ridiculously skinny jeans.

josh, i'm lost.

i heard you whispering that night, in the square. dim yellow street lights flickered above us and i swear it was like some cheesy romcom when you pressed your lips to mine.

i can't go back there anymore. the trash-filled streets make me wish you were still home.

please tell me you remember the night in the basement. tell me you remember the love as, with your teeth scraping against my pulse, you told me how i was everything you would have ever wanted.

please, come back home, josh.

we were a perfect match, maybe that's why we burnt out so soon. maybe we really were nothing but fire and passion.

but no, i know that's not true. because you were the one who kept my demons at bay. you stopped the madness that lived in my veins, in my pores, in my brain. no one had been able to do that before you. and i know i'm not just making this up because even the pints of whiskey can't stop them. the cigarettes can't smoke them out the basement. even when darkness had settled in every hollow of my body, you were still there.

you were a fire that burnt out before i woke.

fuck- josh, you were my everything. you _are_ my everything. you are my waking thought and you're what i fall asleep to. i still hear your voice echoing through my- _our_ \- house, and i think maybe i've finally woken from a terrible nightmare. the sheets still smell like you, i refuse to wash them. your face is already fading from my memory, i can't remember the color of your eyes or the exact shape of your tattoos or how soft your lips were. i can't let myself forget it.

i'm starting to doubt everything i thought i knew. i thought that you really could live a fairytale, i thought a dream could exist outside of your mind. but i guess that's not the case. somebody moves, and everything i loved, everything i _thought_ i had- turned to shit.

my anchors have turned to stone and they're sinking, josh. they're taking me with them and i'm letting them.

because what's the point anymore? without you here, i have no one to turn to but the dark part of my thoughts. they tell me i'm better off dead. and i think they're right.

i'm absolutely wasted. you can taste it on my tongue and it burns the back of my throat. but i know i should've seen this coming.

i thought you loved me. i really did. but who could ever love me, i am out of my mind? i am a shattered porcelain doll. i am broken. i am nothing but nightly breakdowns and leaky veins. i am nothing but sadness, but anxiety.

you won't tell me why you left, but i can guess.

it's okay, josh. i don't blame you.

i can't even deal with myself.

i should get this over with.

i hope debby can make you as happy as you did for me. i've never met her, but she has to be a sweet girl for you to even consider her.

you left some of your band shirts in my closet when you left. you'll find them with this note, neatly folded and stacked on my bed.

i want to be found quickly. i don't want my body to rot for days. so, i'm sorry you have to be the last person to hear from me, sorry my last words are just heavy breaths over the phone receiver.

but when you get here- please don't look at me that way.

i'll haunt you like a ghost.

yours truly,

tyler joseph xoxo

p.s. - i love you.


End file.
